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Let me get out of your way, I know exactly what you want...

Apr 12, 2008
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It is so funny or maybe sad how people in general have it programmed into their head that to be happy they have to find a mate. Someone to spend their life with and to depend on.

I'm not saying that I don't have this need I do, I really do. But I guess my program is broken or something. Instead of just saying: "find a mate" my program rarely says anything and when it does it is: "find a perfect mate for you" or "he's not perfect!!" or "his left nostril is slightly smaller then the right one...dump him!". Yes I am crazy like that.

Also I am just so carefree about finding me a guy to spend my life with. I always think that if there is a Mr. Right he will show up and I don't have to work for it or anything. If it is destined to be he will find me or I will find him! The sad thing is that I can't really be that carefree because I'm soooo insecure that even tough I would KNOW who Mr. Right for me is I could never act on it I have never hit on a guy and I can never hold eye contact if someone is trying to get my attention. If a guy is brave enough to approach me after I have just ignored their stare they get shot down immediately by snotty comments and then me walking away because I'm so nervous:) How stupid is that....

My mom who is 46 years old is still single and always has been, that is she has never been married of course she has had boyfriends and such:) She said to me the other day that she had been just like me...that is she was that carefree thinking that Mr. Right would just sow up and confront her when HE would find her. Her mom made a comment about that when she was younger saying that if she continued being that carefree all the good guys would be taken when she would be ready to go after them, and my grandma turned out to be right!!

This makes me worry a little...

but I would rather be alone then being with just someone just because I was worried I wouldn't find anyone better!

Tinna